The Freshman Fishwrap / IHTFP Gallery

The Menu

Text of the Menu

Some of the world's smartest people have been eaten here.


frosh dumplings
Sweet braised morsels of freshman.

Hot buns
Mmmmmmm. Buns.

Andy Chili
While Andy lasts.

Ears with Corn
Ears laid on a bed of sweet corn.

Stewed Toes
Fresh toes and mixed vegetables.


Freshman Chowder
Served hot.

Chilled Eye Soup
An eyefull and a mouthfull.


All entrees served with cole slaw and frosh fries.

Succulent Roast Leg of Frosh
This prime cut of meat is slowly roasted by highly exothermic localized oxidation and basted in a fine calculus sauce.

Tender Filet of Frosh with Fricasseed Vegetables
These fine cuts of meat under a thorough tenderizing process of forces not to exceed 400 kg-m/s^2. Tartar and sweet and sour sauces available.

Sliced Tips of Frosh
Marinated with a sweet Pass/Fail sauce and comes with all those fancy dijon ketchups.

Freshman Haggis
Steamed and filled with fine ARA leftovers.

Raw Freshman on the Half Shell
With Oobleck. Shell size may vary between 40% and 54%.

Grad Student Pot Pie
This pie includes vegetables, other meats, and miscellaneous stuff found in the lab.

Freshman on a Spit
Served on a 90cm long 7mm radius spit. Mesquite Grilled for optimal flavor. Serves two.

Boston Baked Beings
An age-old favorite.

Angel's Hair Pasta
Available with the following sauces: Pesto, Vongole, Carbonara, Marinara, Alfredo, Al-Burro, Al-Forno, Primavera, Cacciatore, Bolognese and Milanese.



Lady's Fingers
Strawberry Froshcake
Freshman a la mode
Professor Pudding

Ask about our Catch of the Day

* If you would like your meal to be of a particular major, ask your waiter and we will try to accommodate you. (Certain majors may be harder to catch.)

Top of the IHTFP Hack Gallery